Identity reconstruction and values-based counseling

Counseling for When Inherited Beliefs No Longer Fit Who You Are

When the beliefs, roles, or expectations that shaped you come into conflict with your values, it can affect your identity, relationships, and sense of belonging. At Dragonfly, Amanda helps you understand what formed you, decide what still fits, and build a life that feels more authentic to who you are becoming.

One person reflecting on identity and values

Who it serves

Adults whose inherited beliefs, roles, or expectations no longer fit their identity or personal values.

Format and location

In person in the Columbus area and by telehealth for eligible clients in Ohio.

Private pay

First Appointment: $175
Ongoing sessions: $140

Who this service is for

When the framework that shaped you no longer fits

Some people call this deconstruction, a faith transition, or identity reconstruction. Others simply recognize that their beliefs or values have changed and that the life they inherited no longer feels like their own.

You may know what you no longer believe without yet knowing what comes next. Counseling can give you room to examine that uncertainty without pressure to return to an old identity or adopt a new one before you are ready.

This service may be right for you if

  • Your personal values conflict with messages you learned from family, faith, culture, or community.
  • You feel guilt, grief, fear, anger, or shame as your identity changes.
  • You are questioning beliefs or roles that once gave you certainty and belonging.
  • Your changing values are creating strain in family, friendships, or intimate relationships.
  • You want to build a more authentic life without being told what you should believe.

Dragonfly's approach

Understand what shaped you without letting it decide who you must become

Dragonfly uses an affirming, non-pathologizing approach to identity-focused counseling. The goal is not to push you toward or away from a belief system. It is to help you understand the messages you inherited, recognize how they continue to affect you, and make thoughtful choices about the identity, values, and relationships you want to carry forward.

Understand inherited messages

Explore the beliefs, roles, rules, and expectations that shaped how you learned to see yourself, relationships, morality, and belonging.

Clarify your present values

Separate fear, obligation, and outside expectations from the principles and commitments that genuinely matter to you now.

Reconstruct with intention

Build an identity and way of living that can hold complexity, uncertainty, connection, and a growing sense of personal integrity.

What we can work on together

Identity and belonging

Explore who you are outside inherited roles and find ways to experience belonging without abandoning important parts of yourself.

Grief, guilt, and shame

Make space for the losses and difficult emotions that can accompany change, even when that change is necessary and life-giving.

Relationships and boundaries

Navigate disagreement, disclosure, family expectations, and boundaries while deciding which relationships can adapt alongside you.

Amanda Ballmer, CT

Meet Amanda

Personal understanding and an evolved counseling perspective

Having experienced firsthand the challenges of deconstructing and reconstructing my identity when my conservative upbringing came into conflict with my affirming personal values, I am passionate about helping others find the courage to understand themselves, live authentically, and become who they want to be.

Before becoming a counselor, Amanda served as a youth minister in the Church of the Nazarene. Her experience within the church, and her decision to leave when it no longer aligned with her affirming values, give her a grounded understanding of the personal and relational complexity that can accompany identity change.

What to expect from Amanda

  • An affirming, non-directive space that does not prescribe what you should believe.
  • Familiarity with religious culture and the impact it can have on identity and relationships.
  • Room for uncertainty, grief, anger, relief, and the other emotions that can coexist during change.
  • Counseling focused on your values and goals, not pastoral guidance or a religious agenda.

Fees and insurance

Dragonfly Counseling and Wellness is a private-pay practice and does not bill or accept insurance.

First Appointment: $175
Ongoing individual sessions: $140

Payment is due at the time of service. A superbill may be available when appropriate, but insurance reimbursement depends on the client's plan and is not guaranteed.

Ready to begin?

If you are ready to explore the values and identity you want to carry forward, request your first appointment with Amanda below.

Schedule a First Appointment

Location and availability

In-person appointments are available at our office in downtown Columbus. Telehealth appointments are available to eligible clients located in Ohio at the time of the session. Availability is confirmed when you request an appointment.

What happens next

  1. Request a First Appointment. Choose the First Appointment option so the team can confirm Amanda's availability promptly.
  2. Confirm fit and fees. Dragonfly confirms the service, private-pay structure, appointment format, and provider availability.
  3. Attend the First Appointment. You and Amanda begin exploring what brings you to counseling and what you want your work together to support.
  4. Plan continued work. If the service fits, Amanda helps you identify initial goals and schedule the next appointment before the First Appointment concludes.

Frequently asked questions

Do I need to identify with religious trauma?

No. This service is for people experiencing conflict between inherited beliefs or expectations and their present values. Religion may be part of that story, but you do not need to use a particular label or view your experience as trauma.

Will counseling push me toward or away from religion?

No. Amanda's role is not to tell you what to believe. Counseling focuses on helping you understand your experience, clarify your values, and make choices that feel authentic to you.

Can we address family or relationship conflict connected to these changes?

Yes. Identity change often affects the people and communities around you. Counseling can include boundaries, communication, grief, belonging, and decisions about how you want to relate to others.

Is this counseling private pay?

Yes. Dragonfly does not bill or accept insurance. The First Appointment is $175, and ongoing sessions are $140. A superbill may be available when appropriate, but reimbursement is not guaranteed.

Should I schedule a First Appointment or a consultation?

Schedule a First Appointment when you are ready to begin. The free 15-minute consultation is a secondary option when you need to confirm whether the service or provider is likely to fit before scheduling.

Make room for the person you are becoming

You do not need to have every belief, value, or next step figured out before beginning. Start with a First Appointment, or request a brief consultation to confirm Amanda is a good fit for you.